A Kübler-Ross-like Model for Apple Product Launches
As much as I love The Oatmeal’s “What it’s like to own an Apple product”, I think it’s missing a few key stages in the Apple product launch cycle.
Stage 1. Rumors.
Stage 2. Leaks
Stage 3. The big announcement and demo at WWDC. The ooohs and aaaahs.
Stage 4. The pre-order that crashes all the servers. Panic ensues. I don’t know if Apple really got my pre-order!
Stage 5. The product availability date is announced. Long, long lines start days before the product is available. Reservations, complaints, a media frenzy; Celebrities and politicians wait in line with ordinary, anonymous fanboys and fangirls. Rude, disorganized, and heartless Apple retail employees parrot Kafka-esque “company policies” without context or explanation. If you’re lucky enough to get the product on the first day, there is a surfeit of well-heeled folks flooding the social networks with offers to parachute in and buy yours at multiples of the cost. When the first lucky souls leave the Apple Stores with their gizmos it’s like the Rapture has begun.
Stage 6. The scare. Oh my God, the touch screen is developing dead spots! The batteries are defective! When you make a call, your hand blocks the antenna! There’s no multi-tasking (does anyone remember the original Finder in the original MacOS? Remember how everyone complained that it couldn’t multi-task? Then they came out with the “Multi-Finder”—some things never change).
Stage 7. The I-Told-You-So’s - Ha! Not only did you waste your money, you’re giving up your freedoms. It’s a closed system. It’s got DRM on everything. You got duped by the RDF!
Stage 8. Everybody forgets stages 1-7 and goes back to complaining about how bad AT&T’s network sucks.
